Most people are happy when the weather changes, not me. All it does is heat the blood and make people do very stupid things. Like those guys that broke into our house and stole our stuff on the hottest day of spring break. Even Shakespeare knew people get stupid when it's hot. But for me it just takes my usual charisma and twists it. Usually I'm really perky and happy, I mean my chipper personality is about as consistent a s the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. In fact if you gave me a mood ring on one of my good days it would always say I'm happy like a yellow or something or God forbid a pink! But today my yellow shirt is a dead spin off to bow I feel. Today I felt angry, tired of everything, hopeless, and overall alone. I know no one can control or is responsible for how you feel but yourself but if my mom is my blood, then my friends are that part of my brain that control my emotions and will to be better. Lately I've felt unwanted and unneeded. Ever since Mercedez and I joined soccer and met Asha, she never needs her goofy and carefree friend. It's like Asha took my place. She even moved up a grade to graduate with her. Well that might not be why but still it hurts because I can still remember when we were in 7th grade and we dreamed of going to college in New York together. She was gonna be a pediatric neuro-surgeon and I was gonna be an artist. We even said that we would share an apartment at NYU or something. We had all these really cool dreams and we were always there for each other. Yeah I was always getting hurt and she always had problems at home that would terrify mebut she kept me well physically and I kept her up emotionally. We've grown apart and I don't want to. She's like family... a sister. It hurts to think of her leaving and I hate to cry especially but if she left I think I would break out crying on this bus. I don't make lots of super strong connections with people, but when I do it's like a contract. That person can never leave or I won't be able to keep it together. The only way I keep it together is investing only a portion of myself into a person, so if they leave it doesn't hurt as bad. When my Grandpa on Dad's side died, I cried for hours and hours to the point I threw up and for people like me, that's not good. So from then on I was just happy about every bit of good there was in the world because if you care most about little things and divide how much you care about big things then you won't feel the hurt.
Roaringly,
Lone wolf
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